At noon we scheduled, once again, to meet with the designer, on skype. I shifted everything around today to be present at that meeting, since the deadlines keep getting pushed back from delay after delay.
Designated hour arrived... no designer. No where to be found. Not available.
First I felt ballistic, then, when I stopped myself and re-rooted myself, went inside, I became mystic.
I listened in earnest to that small deep voice. It whispered...
"Detainment... can help you attain something much better than what your mind can conceive."
I decided to follow my inner voice, and went on to the next task... It felt so freeing to allow myself the discomfort, without reacting to it, or suppress it. I actually detained my auto-pilot, control freak, do-it-yourself response, which freed me to move ahead with comfort.
It gave me the time to meet with a Dutch rabbi who is looking to deepen the power of her voice, from the inside out. My voice went "bonko's" in the middle of presenting one of my approaches to her, yet, again, the detainment of a knee jerk reaction, allowed me to demonstrate in real time how to release tension from the voice, when you are feeling alot of inner tension. It relaxed me.
When we finally met later in the day, it was a great productive meeting.
I mozied on over to Anita Diamants wonderful blog "Thinking Out Loud" and was astounded to find this:
When I speak in bookstores or libraries or sisterhood luncheons, I sometimes read a few pages from one of my books. The reviews are generally good. "Do you record your own books?"
I know better. It takes a very good actress to give voice to many characters and maintain consistency for 250+ pages.
But when I was invited to record a passage for The Drum, an online "Literary Magazine for your Ears," I coudn't resist.
Here's the link.
It's okay. I'm not mortified, but even more certain that it's better left to the professionals.
When you get detained, how do you respond?