Monday, July 17, 2006

A twisted back to straighten out my attitude

So today, has been spent mostly in front of the computer.

I already wrote about taking Matthias to the bus this morning.
He arrived to Caesaria safely and spent the day wandering around the ancient
Roman ruins, and site of the Hebrew spiritual Eli Eli (Oh Everlasting Divine), written by Hanah Senesh, the resistance fighter who was captured by the Nazis on her way into Germany to free Jews from the concentration camps.

Funny how yesterday we had a talk about the holocaust. In my youth I was incredibly sensitive around the subject. I refused to go to Germany. During my years living in France, I had a major healing with it, enabling me to enjoy a music peace tour there as well as host and share that delicious weekend in the Galilee with Matthias, in peace, while the military planes flew overhead and missiles flew around us.

Matthias just called to say good night. I told him about the connection. We had a good laugh over the irony of God's creativity in bringing about healing for us all.

Make no mistake about it... healing is happening... even in this war. I am one example of it, and there are many others.

This afternoon - after speaking to my mom on the phone (she lives in LA) and assuring her that I will take good care of myself (it's part of the Jewish gene pool :-)... I left the house to go swimming. At least a dip in the water will refresh me. Bombs can't explode in water... they will just melt. It was a comforting thougth.

I got to the pool and was suprised by the amount of activity going on. These last few days, the village (and everywhere else in the north has been like a ghost town).
The children were playing in the water. I was only able to swim two laps before my back rebelled. I am getting the message over and over again: "Stop, rest, look and listen. You will find everything you need".

Those minutes that I sat by the pool watching two children play hide and seek in the shallow end of the pool, taught me without a shadow of a doubt, that innocence is the way... especially in response to violence. They don't know what is going on. They continue to play.

I do not mean to say that we should be irresponsible... I suspect there may be those of you reading whose minds may criticize. This is ok. Only I ask you to consider another option - something that I am learning big time these days: compassion.

Compassion is born of innocence. If we truly allow ourselves to connect to that part of ourselves, we will find the solution to our basic problem... disconnection from the Source... that sense of being alone.

I am applying it right now. Half hour ago, bombs hit Carmiel, Rosh Pina and Tsfat... that is very close to me... I heard alot of commotion in the distance. It is leading me to prepare my bedding in a center room of the house, where there are no windows, just to be safe... This has brought up fear.

How do I respond.... I meet the fear - meaning I am not running from it, I am accepting it. I ask it what it is teaching me. I listen for the answer. I asked whether I need to leave. The still small voice answered, no, yet it might be a good idea to sleep in a secured space. I am being obedient to that voice. Better safe than sorry (I've gotta write the blog tomorrow, no :-)??!! I will take care of myself and do what is neccessary to protect my being.

Tonight I go to sleep confident in the Highest Good. I am sure of it. I surrender to it. I have NO IDEA what it looks like, or what it feels like now, but I am 100% committed to learn and experience it. THis war is teaching me true peace. Stay tuned, I will fill you in on what I learn.

Not knowing is a powerfully safe place to be. AMEN... and good night.

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